I just realise that I am ignorant.
I don't want to care.
I don't take things seriously.
I waste my time thinking alot of unreasonable and worthless stuff.
I hurt people, unintentionally. Thus hurting me more.
I don't even know what I want to do with myself.
I don't know if wether I should just do this, or that ?
What will I do, what should I think, what I want, I don't know ?
I don't know.
What do I know then ?
I've wasted so many years of my life, nothing gained from it, nothing earned from it.
nothing. I'm nothing. I can't do a thing, I feel worthless.
I should do something, my memory is decreasing, it's getting smaller, and smaller.
I need to change the memory card then, or the hard disk, whatever you call them.
Why can't I be more, sure of myself?
Why can't I be more firm on my decisions,
be more strict on what I choose, on what I want to do?
That's it, I don't want to talk anymore,
I have to stop talking shit and try to be more serious about this.
Open up your eyes, shut down unnessary stuff that'll make you lose your 'cool'.
Don't just look at things, see it.
Don't just hear things, listen.
Don't just say it, do it.
I don't want to be in bullshit anymore.
It's enough.
It's done.
I'm done with my shitty self, I'm so done with you !
Adios !
Hey Dude! Hwta's up with you!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!! Where's my self confident Liyana, shitty shitty peng peng at? if you think about yourself like that, it wont get better, not at all! What the hell?
ReplyDeleteI know you, and i know a self confident Liyana, who has a strong mind, and knows what she's doing. And most important of ALL: She can forgive herself! She is able to let the past be past and concentrate on what's coming!
Believe me sweetheart, i have my moments where i felt like you do also but you know what? The way to feel good about yourself and to not think too much is to fill up your day with necessary and good things. Go do your essay, your repoert, your stuff, just do it. Don't see it as anything that you can decide to do or not to do. I't just something you do, And that's IT.
You will feel better, you will feel accomplished, and then, resting and just laying there will also make you feel good about yourself because you know you have done your best, you will be proud of yourself.
I know you like that, and that is who you are, and if you say i'm wrong. Well, anybody can chage, so become who you want to become, you are able to do it, you have accomplished more in your life already!