Yesterday, I got the acceptance letter from Nilai UC.
I was glad. I could finally go and study now, after for some time, I've been doing nothing at home. Last night, when I thought about it again, it will be only two weeks, that I'll be staying in my room, in this house, in this town before I would go start a new chapter, before I would start my studying.
Then it struck me outta nowhere. The feelings became heavy. I was...... sad?
Why would I be sad? It's not like I'm going to the States, again (I wish).
but somehow, the feeling was rather discomforting.
I'm spoiled, by my mother, my sister, and my brother.
I have someone to take care of my food, my laundry, and my untidy things.
And now I'm leaving them, for what I don't know.
And I'm leaving him. We won't be seeing each other as much anymore.
I don't know, I should be happy, and I should be ready. But somehow, I'm NOT.
I don't want to leave home, I want to stay here, and take care of things,
for all these months, I've had the control of this house,
I can't imagine myself not being here, not doing things with my brother or sis,
not being able to kiss my mom goodnight, every night,
not being able to eat whatever food that comes in mind, just by asking, and I got it.
There's so many other things that's more important. It's overwhelming.
Now, I don't want to leave. But I have to. And I will. Because it's my responsibility.
Till when will I worry about them? Forever I guess, but I have to live my own life too.
And I hope somehow they would understand how important it is to live a good life, to listen to whatever my mom tells them to, to do their homework, or to just think about life.
I think I'll come home, like twice a month. Or at least once a month (whoa can't imagine tht).
I'll be starting to pack my things, and well, clean my room, set out a 'meeting time' with fellow board members, farewell dinners, or movies, and well maybe some time to cook together perhaps. Eat as much as I can, while I'm here. And probably get some new clothes, LOL.
Whatever it is, I love you guys so much that I've no regret staying home for the last 10months!
And I wish I can stay longer. There's no place like home!
I was glad. I could finally go and study now, after for some time, I've been doing nothing at home. Last night, when I thought about it again, it will be only two weeks, that I'll be staying in my room, in this house, in this town before I would go start a new chapter, before I would start my studying.
Then it struck me outta nowhere. The feelings became heavy. I was...... sad?
Why would I be sad? It's not like I'm going to the States, again (I wish).
but somehow, the feeling was rather discomforting.
I'm spoiled, by my mother, my sister, and my brother.
I have someone to take care of my food, my laundry, and my untidy things.
And now I'm leaving them, for what I don't know.
And I'm leaving him. We won't be seeing each other as much anymore.
I don't know, I should be happy, and I should be ready. But somehow, I'm NOT.
I don't want to leave home, I want to stay here, and take care of things,
for all these months, I've had the control of this house,
I can't imagine myself not being here, not doing things with my brother or sis,
not being able to kiss my mom goodnight, every night,
not being able to eat whatever food that comes in mind, just by asking, and I got it.
There's so many other things that's more important. It's overwhelming.
Now, I don't want to leave. But I have to. And I will. Because it's my responsibility.
Till when will I worry about them? Forever I guess, but I have to live my own life too.
And I hope somehow they would understand how important it is to live a good life, to listen to whatever my mom tells them to, to do their homework, or to just think about life.
I think I'll come home, like twice a month. Or at least once a month (whoa can't imagine tht).
I'll be starting to pack my things, and well, clean my room, set out a 'meeting time' with fellow board members, farewell dinners, or movies, and well maybe some time to cook together perhaps. Eat as much as I can, while I'm here. And probably get some new clothes, LOL.
Whatever it is, I love you guys so much that I've no regret staying home for the last 10months!
And I wish I can stay longer. There's no place like home!
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