Today I woke up to the feeling of in need of shopping for some lingeries.
I mean I know there's like tons of it sold out there, but nothing beats the feel of VS's lingerie.
The soft and velvety feeling of the fabric, the shape, the sultriness, the comfort, it's just perfect!
I even miss going in VS's just to smell the latest perfume, or check out the latest make up.
Why aren't there any VS's in Malaysia? WHY????
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
I dedicate this for you, bitch.
Oh my,
the world just became weirder and weirder,
and more stupid than I am surprisingly,
surprised by what I actually find, through out it.
Some things are just pointless, and I wonder why some people would still do it.
Lately, I feel calm. Eventhough my room is messy, eventhough I'm not in college yet.
Eventhough I'm just taking time, waiting for the day to pass by,
and watching the clock every now and then. It's boring, and devastating.
For me, no. It's actually, calming. I can think about thousands of things when I only look at the falling leaves from the big bonzai tree in the front lawn.
I'm so blessed.
Eventhough some people annoys the back bone out of me,
I laughed. I felt sorry for that person. I felt the shame.
I'm just sorry for you asshole.
You're such a bitch, and I wonder why on earth didn't you die when you were a baby,
whereas you should. Since you're only a nuisance for other poeple's life.
Some parents are such dumb asses.
Why is it that they are so stupid, that even when they would have problems with each other,
they would gladly involve the child, in it? Isn't that stupid? No it's far more worse than stupid, it's called 'somethingelse'.
I'm sorry for you people in this world. I dont think you are people, I think you're just a PIG.
A big, fat, ugly, stupid, hideous, lazy, and dumb PIG.
*chuckles*
It's not my fault.
You started it, so pay the consenquences lah.
You don't know who you're dealing with.
If you're smart, stay away from me,
I can be really nice, and otherwise.
as far as possible, you're such a nuisance to this family - to me.
I don't know you, and I don't want to know you.
You're nobody, you're so outta my league,
excuse me, mind my language, but you're so low of a human status that you should only and go down crawl when you walk pass me.
Oh my, did I cross the line?
You should thank God I don't live close to you, or I would go and slap your teeth out of your ugly face - wait, my hands are far to perfect and delicate to touch the face of yours. I might get rabies.
You're so disdainful to even be spat at. You should be urinated at.
This is all meant for you baby. I hope you'll love it.
Totally a 100% from the bottom of my heart-not all though,
so Baby please baby, just go to hell.
the world just became weirder and weirder,
and more stupid than I am surprisingly,
surprised by what I actually find, through out it.
Some things are just pointless, and I wonder why some people would still do it.
Lately, I feel calm. Eventhough my room is messy, eventhough I'm not in college yet.
Eventhough I'm just taking time, waiting for the day to pass by,
and watching the clock every now and then. It's boring, and devastating.
For me, no. It's actually, calming. I can think about thousands of things when I only look at the falling leaves from the big bonzai tree in the front lawn.
I'm so blessed.
Eventhough some people annoys the back bone out of me,
I laughed. I felt sorry for that person. I felt the shame.
I'm just sorry for you asshole.
You're such a bitch, and I wonder why on earth didn't you die when you were a baby,
whereas you should. Since you're only a nuisance for other poeple's life.
Some parents are such dumb asses.
Why is it that they are so stupid, that even when they would have problems with each other,
they would gladly involve the child, in it? Isn't that stupid? No it's far more worse than stupid, it's called 'somethingelse'.
I'm sorry for you people in this world. I dont think you are people, I think you're just a PIG.
A big, fat, ugly, stupid, hideous, lazy, and dumb PIG.
*chuckles*
It's not my fault.
You started it, so pay the consenquences lah.
You don't know who you're dealing with.
If you're smart, stay away from me,
I can be really nice, and otherwise.
as far as possible, you're such a nuisance to this family - to me.
I don't know you, and I don't want to know you.
You're nobody, you're so outta my league,
excuse me, mind my language, but you're so low of a human status that you should only and go down crawl when you walk pass me.
Oh my, did I cross the line?
You should thank God I don't live close to you, or I would go and slap your teeth out of your ugly face - wait, my hands are far to perfect and delicate to touch the face of yours. I might get rabies.
You're so disdainful to even be spat at. You should be urinated at.
This is all meant for you baby. I hope you'll love it.
Totally a 100% from the bottom of my heart-not all though,
so Baby please baby, just go to hell.
Change
Today will be the day,
the day I will start to change.
I'm so excited.
I'm thrilled.
Actually it feels more like a nervous feeling.
I don't know I'm just so excited.
the day I will start to change.
I'm so excited.
I'm thrilled.
Actually it feels more like a nervous feeling.
I don't know I'm just so excited.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Hari Berkeputusan
I've made up my mind.
I want to do it. I think I should do it.
There's no harm in doing it.
It's gonna make a big impact on my everyday life.
But it's okay, cause I can get use to it. I should.
I don't know wether I should wait, or just still take some time to think about it,
deeply, throughly,
but the thing is, I don't know,
I don't think there'll be any regrets in the future.
I hope not! but I'm pretty sure, I won't.
But I surely hope
there'll be more reason for me
to do this,
More things to make me sure,
that I should do this.
I hope you would enlight me soon.
I want to do it. I think I should do it.
There's no harm in doing it.
It's gonna make a big impact on my everyday life.
But it's okay, cause I can get use to it. I should.
I don't know wether I should wait, or just still take some time to think about it,
deeply, throughly,
but the thing is, I don't know,
I don't think there'll be any regrets in the future.
I hope not! but I'm pretty sure, I won't.
But I surely hope
there'll be more reason for me
to do this,
More things to make me sure,
that I should do this.
I hope you would enlight me soon.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The smell of you
Your smell still lingers in the air.
It reminds me, of you the most of course.
But the best thing is that it reminds me of us.
and it helps me to know myself better.
I miss you.
Just hope that the scent doesn't go away untill you're here again.
It reminds me, of you the most of course.
But the best thing is that it reminds me of us.
and it helps me to know myself better.
I miss you.
Just hope that the scent doesn't go away untill you're here again.
Itsy bitsy spider that bit me
Last night, I had a dream.
A dream that I think I should write about.
I woke up this morning, with a sad and heavy feeling in my heart,
it was devastating. I felt the urge to cry, but couldnt.
I wonder why? Maybe I think too much lately, or maybe
I just felt the guilt in my chest, burdening up and swallowing me,
from inside out.
It hurt so badly, and I can still feel it.
I've had this kind of feeling a year ago,
when I was in the States, and dreamnt something,
Something, frightening, and sad in way,
so sad, even death is nothing.
I woke up that time, with tears running out from my eyes,
and the feeling, still there in my heart.
So painful, even the feel of a knife stabbed in through your heart is nothing!
It felt like, millions of pieces of broken glasses are slowly pierced in and out of the heart.
Pouring down from the heart, is the hearts contents, blood, etc..
erh yeah yeah, gross.
I can still remember the dream, so clear, if my eyes were projectors,
it can show every single detail out of it.
Even the smallest drop of blood that were pouring from the sky,
and the white space of nothing, it was scary.
Last night, was a dream of,
three lil spiders, that came crawling on me,
one was white, the others were black and green,
the best thing was, the white one, bit me.
bleeded me, and scarred me.
It was painful, and it hurt so bad, I can imagine in my mind still.
I don't know why it's so important, about three lil spiders,
but what meant the most for me, was the feeling I had
when I woke up, it was hurtful, it was sad, and it was heavy.
I kept crying today, I just couldn't resist it.
A dream that I think I should write about.
I woke up this morning, with a sad and heavy feeling in my heart,
it was devastating. I felt the urge to cry, but couldnt.
I wonder why? Maybe I think too much lately, or maybe
I just felt the guilt in my chest, burdening up and swallowing me,
from inside out.
It hurt so badly, and I can still feel it.
I've had this kind of feeling a year ago,
when I was in the States, and dreamnt something,
Something, frightening, and sad in way,
so sad, even death is nothing.
I woke up that time, with tears running out from my eyes,
and the feeling, still there in my heart.
So painful, even the feel of a knife stabbed in through your heart is nothing!
It felt like, millions of pieces of broken glasses are slowly pierced in and out of the heart.
Pouring down from the heart, is the hearts contents, blood, etc..
erh yeah yeah, gross.
I can still remember the dream, so clear, if my eyes were projectors,
it can show every single detail out of it.
Even the smallest drop of blood that were pouring from the sky,
and the white space of nothing, it was scary.
Last night, was a dream of,
three lil spiders, that came crawling on me,
one was white, the others were black and green,
the best thing was, the white one, bit me.
bleeded me, and scarred me.
It was painful, and it hurt so bad, I can imagine in my mind still.
I don't know why it's so important, about three lil spiders,
but what meant the most for me, was the feeling I had
when I woke up, it was hurtful, it was sad, and it was heavy.
I kept crying today, I just couldn't resist it.
Monday, March 22, 2010
It rains of overwhelmed feelings today
I've never felt like this before.
Its like falling in love, but I don't think it's exactly, Love?
I don't know.
I feel happy, not the same kind as when the usual rate of happiness,
but not the most happy either, that you jump on and off the floor,
Just, normally happy.
I feel, alive, in like I can breathe, and think, and do other stuff,
even when I miss you, even when you're not around me.
I feel content. To the state that I don't care anymore about anything
or whatever things even when bad things that'll come,
cause I know, that you'll always be there, to hold my hand when I'm scared,
Or just to see the visible veins running through under my skin.
To tell me that you'll kick their asses, or how dumb some mortals can be.
I feel secure, to know that whatever happens in the future, you'll be there,
smiling, waving your hand at me, or just annoy me to the state that I won't be bother to be angry anymore.
You always know what to do,
or what to say.
I adore you, I cherish you, I salute you to the point that, I trust you with my life.
Just take it. Take it, and do whatever you want.
My hopes and dreams for us?
Is to always be like this.
I want to love you, to the extend that even by death can't do us part.
That's what kind of love that I want.
Not those when it changes the temperature, or seasons when it feels like.
Or the kinds that just based on literation or complexion, or even based on caste in socialization.
I wonder what kind of feeling this is,
I don't think it's really love,
so tell me, how should I really feel for you?
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