My Precious.

Last night, I slept with both of my brother and sister.
At first I was super angry at my lil brother for being abnoxious.
But I didn't throw a fuss at him. Instead I cried.
I couldn't hold my feelings, my anger, my frustration.
So I cried.

I realised how over protective I am over them.
I couldn't help it. My insctict of the eldest sister is just too strong.

After a few laps of crying and all, my lil bro started to come and hug me,
then came my heavy lil sister, now I have two 'ricesacks' on top of me, crushing me.

Then started the episodes of ghost stories from them, followed by me screaming intentionally just to scare them. And we all laughed. We talked and talked till I was out of breath, and till I couldn't open my eyes any longer, I just went to sleep. They just kept talking till everything was all quiet.
We all slept.

I woke up this morning, with my brother sleeping on the other side of the bed, his feet faced my face, and my sister was almost thrown out of bed. And it was 130 in the afternoon. My god?!
What a good influence I am for both my brother and sister. Haha.

Just for Liyana when she feels sad.

Tonight, I dont feel so happy. Actually, I am really sad.
Why? Maybe because I just feel like it. I just want to be sad tonight.
At least while being sad, I realised a couple of points.
Points of things that would make me see and do things, differently.
Well I just want to be sad tonight.
These are the tears that I've been holding up,
the sadness, the anger, the hurt, and everything.
The thing about me is that
I tend to keep my feelings to myself.
And I think tonight is the night when I let it all out.
So that I would feel better tomorrow.
This feeling I have in me now, is beyond how sadness can be felt.
Because it's just so full of everything I've been through
all this while. and all the anger that I've been shutting up inside.
And I hope to change that. Change my bad-tempered self.

Eventhough its sad. I'm smiling, just to make me feel better.
Just to make me know that it'll all be alright.
It'll all be fine.
because there's nothing that I can't handle.

This one, is for myself.
To read when I'm sad again next time.
Just know that whatever it is Liyana,
You'll be fine. You've done it this far, and you can go further.
It's just how it is, and you choose how you want to live.
So grow up and live with it.

Chewing Gum

Today, a quite 'interesting' incident happened.
Well I was cheerfully humming and driving while chewing a gum after I sent my mom off at the airport.
Then I came home, played the piano. still chewing.
Watch Tv. still chewing.
Went on the internet ; Fb, Yahoo, Onemanga. spat out the gum and had a new one.
Then I was sleepy.
went straight to bed, just to relax my head.
when I realise, I was on my bed, 2hrs later. Just woke up.
And the gum was gone!
I forgot wether I spat it out, or I accidentally swallowed it when I fell asleep
I hope I'm not in BIG SHIT.
Thinking about it, my stomach hurts, maybe because there's gum stuck somewhere
at my intestinal wall.
oh SHIT!

*Rohn

Why is it so bloody warm today?
I can't take it lah.
I kept changing my clothes.
Hangatnyaaaaa!

*hot in Thai

Ps. Im trying to learn to speak Thai now.

Sawatdeekaaaaa :)

Another day Another Story to Tell

Today, aunty Sulida came to stay.
Now ibu's out with her and her friends to find some international school for their kid.
Well I would wish I had gone to private schools, it would be interesting for me, well I love my school life. It's just so full of, memories *smirking*

I have cramps, and I'm sorta crappy.
Watching Slam Dunk made my day.
Eventhough I have watched it since I was like 9.
I still love it.
It's just so natural, so human.
Unlike many other stupid, lame cartoons that are just plain stupid.
I get irritated when I watch stupid cartoons, like Mr.Bean or something.
Erkh.

Got Sue sent me some anime songs in my phone. Im just so into Japanese and Korean songs now. No idea why, maybe because I hear Sue play it in her room all the time.

Anyway, I have henna on my fingernails again today.
Its fading halfway before I topped it up just now.
I just love doing it now.
Just for the fun of it. I do have coloured nails and I can pray with them!
Well, it is also a sunat btw.
haha.

I miss my girls. I just want us to sit together, talk shit and laugh about stupid stuff or go crazy over some cute guy. We'll do nothing, but it's okay. We're so used to that.
Everybody is having their own life now. And it makes it sorta hard for me to see them. I'm not sad about it, it's just that sometimes, I miss them.

I have nothing else to do now, might as well I write something here.
It's better to write about how my day is rather than bitching about people like 'I' always do. :)
*this is totally dedicated to someone, findout who you are!

Miracle

Today, on the 24th of January, I actually have succeded to clean up my room! Like totally! I vaccuumed, wash, pick, scrub, wipe, everything, you name it. In the closet, cupboards and on the floor, on the study table, my bed, and arranged my wardrobe closet according to type, colour.

Oh I feel like I've entered to someone else's room!

After for so long, I actually have devoted myself to do it.

Finally my room is so awesome I don't want to make a mess anymore!
I hope?
Well anyway...

I'm so proud of myself! and now, I'm goin to cheer and clap for myself!

*clapclapclapclap*

Let go in order to move on in life.

Yes I do admit it is difficult for us to
FORGET someone, or something.
Yes it hurts.
Yes its hard.
Yes its like totally out of the question.
But the way to forget something or someone,
is to actually
Let Go.

Let go of the memory, just let it be.
Just don't care. Just don't try involve yourself in it.
Go away, far far as you can.
But don't run away from the fact.
Whatever the fact may be.
Face it, embrace it. Wash it on your face.
Remember that you WANT TO FORGET IT.

If you want to do something, ofcourse you can,
just that sometimes when you feel like you don't,
You just don't want to do it.
Because you don't want to let go,
you want to stay the same,
afraid to change.
You're afraid of change.

Well I'm sorry for you then.
No one else can help you,
you know.
Too bad then.