Again and again

I am reading my journal, Yes, again! I love reading it, reminds me of freaking Americans, Babers, enchulatas (man I miss mexican food *sad*), Abercombie, the sales, Fashion Square, Panda express...

WOW, I'm not gona list everything, there's so much! Sorry people. LOL

I miss you very much, Joy and Bob Baber, the Ericksons, my lil Carter, Mareike bubu, KengoKenta, my weird PVHS teachers, FashionSquare, Panda Express, and most of all, my German boyfriend. Don't you just miss everything, love?

I know I do!

Thinking of You - Katy Perry

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your...

Your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door and
Take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay

Hipocracy, hipocracy

I hate hipokrits. I seriously do! They make me sick to the stomach.

I just hate the fact that they pretend to be super nice in front of you, but the fact is that they just bitching bout you all the time! Who cares bout them?

The truth is, I dont give a damn about them, but the thing that makes me mad is that I have these type of people in my bloodline! And it makes me more sad when I realise that all the nice things they said to me was a total lie!

I just hope they would get what they want and they would be happy for what they have done. God bless them lah!

Well damn with those people. I don't want to make my life miserable thinking about those kind of people. It'll cause me more heartbreak, pain in the ass, increasing for my total hairloss for thinking so much, loss of appetite, pimples will start growing on my face due to unbalanced raging hormones and alot of other complications for me!

Starting from now, at this very moment, I dont wana give a F**K about you people.

So please, go to hell :)

Thank you my loves

I feel better.

What was I thinking before?

I was always okay, it's just that, I wasn't handling my father's death very well. I felt sad and upset, because I wanted to do more things with him, but since he's not here anymore, I can't.

Come on, it's okay.

If I can't do it with him, I can always do it. Maybe with someone else. Someone. Anyone?

Well I'm okay now. Like I said, I feel better!

And well, I think next time, I should handle my emotions wiser.

Stupid Liyana, making everybody sad, and worried.

I'm sorry my loves. I didn't mean to. Thank you for being there for me.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

What's wrong with me?

I'm not myself lately, got upset easily, I dont think I feel very confident about myself anymore, lately I feel down, i drive the car like shit, seriously I cant even park the car properly, I always think of things that I never thought of before, like how thinner I got as I would not look good in my clothes, or something stupid like that.

Man, I sounded lame and annoying lah.

But what else can I do, I dont know what's wrong with me.

I want my old self back, confident, and dontgiveadamn about what people think of me.

Oh god.? Help me please.

Alhamdulillah

Losing the ones you love will make you a stronger person. Just know that death is a reminder for the living ones, that soon, one day, we will die too. Death ends a life, but not a relationship. Dont stop your life when you lose someone, but keep living, because the person has already found his peace, so feel happy for him, because maybe if he's still living in this world, he was suffering, and suffocating, so let it be that now is the time for him to rest and sleep. Cry for them, yes we can grief when we lose a person we love, but instead of putting a stop to your life by being sad and mourne all the time, where it doesn't and won't bring you anywhere, live your life to the fullest, treat people with more respect, and by keeping the person in your mind, heart and prayers, that will be more than enough as they will forever be remembered, and the memories will still live on.

Remember, that everything happens for a reason, and a cause. Look at things by many points of view. And look at things, at a bigger picture. Try to find the positive in everyting. Believe in God lah. He's always there for you.

I'm just so forever grateful that my father passed away so peacefully, may he has found the peace he had been waiting for, and may Allah bless his wonderful soul. Yesterday was a very sad day for all of his family and friends. His memory will still live on with us, as a father, a brother, a friend, an uncle, and a great man we all know him.

I am sad, but I'm also glad, that he has now gone back to where he came from. And I think he's a very lucky guy, to have children that took good care of him when he was not in his good shape, love him so very much despite everything, and even look up to him as an idol.

You will always be in my prayers, may Allah bless your soul. And may you have found the peace, away from this fake, disruptive and sad sad world. All this time,you've done everything you can to make our lives better, so now, go rest, for we will take care of ourselves, from what we've learnt from you and your experiences in life.

I love you , I always do, and I hope you know that. Thank you for everything, bapak.

News!

Got news from Mr.nini that maybe, he's probably coming here and see me in a month! Im so damn excited. And if it is really confirmed, I'm seriously goin to screammmmm! I just dont know what to say! i'll be speechless. But for now, chill chill. Relax. Breathe. breathe.