It actually rained this morning, and the weather was very nice, it was cloudy and cool and breezy. Till the sun suddenly decided to come out to shine brightly and warmly this afternoon! And well guessed, the day just became hot and sweaty as the usual.
Oh, I went out with friends. We did what we do best, fooling around in town. Like the usual, as we would complain about how warm the day is, or how bright and shining the sun is, or how I would end up not doing anything for 7 months in Jitra.
Yeah yeah I gotcha. I know, it's unbelievable, and unbearable. But you would just get use to it. You know?
I am still on search for colleges, yes again. I found some that interests me. And well now I would just apply to many colleges at once, and when some college accepts me, I would decide. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. :)
Well I'm actually in the middle of baking a cake.
Gotta go see what's baking!
Toodles.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
College search, Again.
Now I am actually still on my search for colleges!
OWH! Seriously some private colleges offer courses with unreasonable prices!
Now where am I gonna go?!
I don't have time, the latest is in March! And I'm not even prepared to go for study!
AHHHHHHH
OWH! Seriously some private colleges offer courses with unreasonable prices!
Now where am I gonna go?!
I don't have time, the latest is in March! And I'm not even prepared to go for study!
AHHHHHHH
Monday, February 15, 2010
Apa kejadah lah.
Today is just so full of different emotions!
I just can't take it, it's so overwhelming. I feel like laughing and at the same time, crying too?
Sad? Happy? I don't know how to differentiate.
Haha. Now I'm laughing. And I'm sad too.
Damn.
I just need my sleep now. Last night was terrible. Terbangun berkali-kali.
Just for no reason. I was just so tired, that I kept waking up. shitlah.
Dahlah letih. Hari ini pulak macam2 jadi. haish. haish. haishhhh.
Ps. I am doing well in my savings. Yay!
I just can't take it, it's so overwhelming. I feel like laughing and at the same time, crying too?
Sad? Happy? I don't know how to differentiate.
Haha. Now I'm laughing. And I'm sad too.
Damn.
I just need my sleep now. Last night was terrible. Terbangun berkali-kali.
Just for no reason. I was just so tired, that I kept waking up. shitlah.
Dahlah letih. Hari ini pulak macam2 jadi. haish. haish. haishhhh.
Ps. I am doing well in my savings. Yay!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
:(
Unfortunately, I didn't get myself into Nottingham. I'm sad. I was looking forward to it, very much. I don't know. I'm dissapointed. I think I should go check for other colleges then. What to do, maybe it's fate, well, I did my best. So let's go search for other colleges then! Goodluck!
ps. Im listening to 'Arigato-Home Made Kazoku'. Makes me feel better, listening to it.
ps. Im listening to 'Arigato-Home Made Kazoku'. Makes me feel better, listening to it.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Moody
Not doing so well in managing my temper it seems.
I was and still am, feeling crappy.
Feels fake everytime I try to smile, in order to make myself feel better.
Just doesn't work today. Oh God?
The weather seem hotter than usual, I feel blah, I'm sweaty, I'm warm.
I can't think, I breathe heavily. My face feels tight and my skin is dry.
Worse, I can't calm down. I don't even know what's wrong.
Now, I just feel irritated cause of my useless complaints.
Wtf?
I was and still am, feeling crappy.
Feels fake everytime I try to smile, in order to make myself feel better.
Just doesn't work today. Oh God?
The weather seem hotter than usual, I feel blah, I'm sweaty, I'm warm.
I can't think, I breathe heavily. My face feels tight and my skin is dry.
Worse, I can't calm down. I don't even know what's wrong.
Now, I just feel irritated cause of my useless complaints.
Wtf?
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wht the ****** rashes ?
I am actually super irritated by this freaking itching rashes on my face that's killing me now!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Fam ily
Today something bad happened to me, anyway, it's regarding my money. Thinking about it, made me sad, because I just lost an amount of money! I mean it's not much, but it's alot too, but still, it's my savings money..............
As my heart is crushed like a million pieces of abstract crushed mirror, something came up to me. It reminded me of when once upon a time, my father gave me our monthly salary money, and at that time I was in middle school I guess, so anyway, it was alot of money, so I was thrilled! I was keeping it safe in my purse, and went out with some friends. And when i came home, I lost the purse, with the money in it! I was so crushed, I was scared to death! In my mind, was my little imagination of my dad being the judge and sentenced me, the accused to death. I was pale. I shrunk when I heard my mom said his name that night. So I told my mom, hoping that she would get angry, but she didn't. Which made me feel more of the guilt I felt before. So she asked me to tell my father the truth. Tell him what happen. I don't want too! I'm scared!
The next day, I was too scared that I can feel his aura as his coming to visit us. Oh my god, what am I to do.?! So there he was, sitting on the floor at the front door, taking off his shoes. Then he said, so, what do you want to tell me?! As if he knows!! I was like, erhh. Bapak, I'm sorry, I lost the money you gave me, please don't be mad. And so I was dissapointed by my dreams and imaginations. My father didn't even grin at me, he was cool( that was surprising, since he's very ferocious ) and said, okay, be careful next time. I trust you okay? and handed over a cheque for us.
Now, thinking of that time, I don't remember how I felt. But I think I was super relieved. Ofcourse! I mean maybe my memory only wanted to remind me of that, reminded me of the sacrifice, Forgive, Let go, and solving the problem. Instead of making it a big issue.
Family, maybe it's sacrificing yourself for the sake of others. You work hard, to earn something to support your family, to make it better. Make it happier. You give everything you have, and share things you love the most. Sometimes, you would do things you don't even want to when it comes to them.
So much sacrifice, so much giving, so much responsibility.
So much? How can you cope with that?
so how can you live your dreams then?
Do you sacrifice them too? Why?
Why can't you just live how you want it to be?
Why is it that you have to be responsible for everything?
Why is it that you are the one who always do things?
Why isn't this about me? Why? Why? Why?
If I were to write down all the question, it'll take me almost my lifetime.
I don't have that much of a time!
But why you ask me?
Because we're family, and families stay together, be there for each other, and accept each other no matter how annoying or how stupid or how selfish you can be. No matter what happens, you KNOW that they would always be there for you. Just waiting to be called.
What more do you want, if you already have this?
As my heart is crushed like a million pieces of abstract crushed mirror, something came up to me. It reminded me of when once upon a time, my father gave me our monthly salary money, and at that time I was in middle school I guess, so anyway, it was alot of money, so I was thrilled! I was keeping it safe in my purse, and went out with some friends. And when i came home, I lost the purse, with the money in it! I was so crushed, I was scared to death! In my mind, was my little imagination of my dad being the judge and sentenced me, the accused to death. I was pale. I shrunk when I heard my mom said his name that night. So I told my mom, hoping that she would get angry, but she didn't. Which made me feel more of the guilt I felt before. So she asked me to tell my father the truth. Tell him what happen. I don't want too! I'm scared!
The next day, I was too scared that I can feel his aura as his coming to visit us. Oh my god, what am I to do.?! So there he was, sitting on the floor at the front door, taking off his shoes. Then he said, so, what do you want to tell me?! As if he knows!! I was like, erhh. Bapak, I'm sorry, I lost the money you gave me, please don't be mad. And so I was dissapointed by my dreams and imaginations. My father didn't even grin at me, he was cool( that was surprising, since he's very ferocious ) and said, okay, be careful next time. I trust you okay? and handed over a cheque for us.
Now, thinking of that time, I don't remember how I felt. But I think I was super relieved. Ofcourse! I mean maybe my memory only wanted to remind me of that, reminded me of the sacrifice, Forgive, Let go, and solving the problem. Instead of making it a big issue.
Family, maybe it's sacrificing yourself for the sake of others. You work hard, to earn something to support your family, to make it better. Make it happier. You give everything you have, and share things you love the most. Sometimes, you would do things you don't even want to when it comes to them.
So much sacrifice, so much giving, so much responsibility.
So much? How can you cope with that?
so how can you live your dreams then?
Do you sacrifice them too? Why?
Why can't you just live how you want it to be?
Why is it that you have to be responsible for everything?
Why is it that you are the one who always do things?
Why isn't this about me? Why? Why? Why?
If I were to write down all the question, it'll take me almost my lifetime.
I don't have that much of a time!
But why you ask me?
Because we're family, and families stay together, be there for each other, and accept each other no matter how annoying or how stupid or how selfish you can be. No matter what happens, you KNOW that they would always be there for you. Just waiting to be called.
What more do you want, if you already have this?
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