Welcome 2010

Thank you 2009, for a wonderful year,
filled with magical dreams and whimsical hopes,
tears of happiness, and of sadness,
meeting amazing new people, deprived the ones I love,
although you have been ticking yourself away swiftly and smoothly,
thus making me unbearable to keep up with you.
It was fun, it was sad.
But it's okay. I learnt alot from it.

And now, I would gladly welcome, 2010
Wait, wait.
Am I ready?
I hope I am,
to go through whatever obstacles that may occur,
whatever wrong turns I might take,
and whatever split roads that would make me choose on where to go
and what to do after that.

Please please make me stronger than I am now,
and don't let me forget the little things that are important to me.
As I know I would learn more,
Gain something, lose something else,
a new hope, or a new dream,
A new friend, or a new nemesis.

More or less for whatever may happen,
I hope to stay strong, and be strong.
zahir dan batin.

Amin.

Backstabers

The thing is, you backstabers can go straight to h***!
Or get shot in the forehead.
For being a bloody backstabing biatch.
Whatthehell?
For all the things we've done for you,
this is how you repay us?
Well at least now we know your true faces.

Damn you people.
You make my blood pressure rises to my head!
I think my heart is burning flames,
if I cut it abit maybe lava would come out instead of blood.

Argh!

For Mr. F

Tavallodet mobarakJoyeux Anniversaire
Felix dis natalisAlles Gute zum GeburtstagO-tanjobi omedetoSelamat Hari Jadi

Well I can write them down in every single language - thanks for the help of my very best friend, Google. But you get what I mean. :D

Have a wonderful birthday sayang.

I miss you very much.

ps. I love you.

Azam Tahun Baru

It's goin to be 5 days (or less) before this year's expiry, and it's on count!
Wow, wow.
Seriously it's that soon already?
I can't believe this.
I haven't set any aims or targets yet.
Well maybe I should do it now.
So what should I aim for next year, hmm *thinking,thinking,thinking*

Maybe I should, settle all unfinished business, read more books, take up a new hobby - how bout shoe-increment (just saying), be more punctual, more disciplined, errr.., take-up a Language class-like seriously.

Now I'm out of ideas actually, I should write them down next time.
Well I just hope I would have time, not waste them away!

Please please please be more determined and serious about stuff.

Please Liyana please!

Happy Early Birthday sweetheart !

Hey, it's goin to be his birthday tomorrow!I think he is and will be so excited and glad, now that I can't call him an underage boy anymore.but nevermind.I had my fun :)I'm so happy for you anyways sayang.Love you!

Where does the apple would fall then, if not on the ground

Parents are children's best(or worst) and first idol(or example), eventhough they realise it or not.
Being a parent is not easy because when you have children, not only you would have to deal with their miscellaneous behaviours, etc.. etc.. etc..
You would also have to watch out what you do or say since they would follow whatever you do.
Good or bad.
They wouldn't know, they're just kids.

It's sad that some would behave ironically, foolishly, dramatically and wants nothing more than just attention, when they don't even get that from their parents. So sad.
The only thing a person, young or old, wants in this world, is just to be noticed. To be appreciated. To be listened to. To be more sure of themselves.

And it is irrefutable when I would have to say that children themselves are actually representing the way their parents teach them at home,
and that is,if they do.

I'm very grateful to God for bestowing me my parents, thus giving me this wonderful life.
My life is not perfect, but that's what I love about it.
Because sometimes,
the little things in life can be the most priceless.
And I want to thank you, God for that.
Thank you for this wonderful life.

Help !

I'm still on my college's resume. Seriously I have no ideas at all, on how and what to write!

I'm frustrated, I'm overwhelmed. I'm out of time!

Oh God, please please help this poor girl over here.

Same old, same old !

Today as I woke up, I feel cranky and crappy of the 'time of the month'. Well you know what I mean.

Anyway,the thing that happen today is, actually nothing much. But I did watch this movie about weddings, and remembered about how much I love weddings!

Not saying as it is for mine, but generally, as in Weddings. The dress, the receptions, cakes, flowers, the venue, and the man that's gona be there, waiting for you at the end of the isle, and goin to hold your hand, smile at you and say 'you look beautiful,love', the idea is just so romantic, my heart is blooming!

Sighs*
Maybe one day. I can hope, right :)

Well anyway, I realise that I needed to put some things into work, like my college application, and some other personal matters! Like seriously, what's with the delays! Damnit. I thought those delaying times were over! I should get it done and deal with things!

Focus focus focus!

You're not gona regret it, I promise you!

Smoking is cool, not?

Smokers are total imbeciles.

Seriously I can't find any GOOD reasons for smokers to still smoke.

Well, I dont have to ellaborate more about the consenquenses of smoking, a BIG waste of my time on that one.

Just want to say out things that would irritate me easily. Since I hate fools very much. And I'm pretty much irritated now.

Fuuhh~

Oky, I'm done.

Early Christmas Surprise

Got your Christmas parcel yesterday.

I was really happy about it, kept smiling and smiling till my cheeks got sore. But still I kept smiling everytime I look at it or remember about it. Especially when there's something really sweet inside!

Thank you for your wonderful gift. Sorry for the fact that I didn't wait till Christmas to open it, but you didn't say so ! :P

I really miss you alot, my Schatz.

Ariff the Wistler

Ariff was happily wistling some random song, suddenly Sue came in and interrupted,

Sue ; Arip! jangan bersiul, nanti panggil setan! (dont wistle, you're calling the satan)

Ariff dengan selambanya menjawab,

Ariff ; Relax lah kak Sulida. Better have friends with you rather than wistling alone!

I feel ...

What am I feeling?

I don't know?

I am not sure?

I can't explain it. I can't tell anyone, it's a secret.

At least all I know that I'm kinda confuse now of how and what I feel.

Confused me.

What to do?

Menyampah

I have a problem.

Correction, I have problems.

One of them is that I freaking hate people who actually thinks that they are the centre of the world, no, the Universe!

Come on people, you make me sick!

The world doesn't revolves around you.

Find something better to do lah.

You think you're so all Great and almighty? Please.

You're just so selfish, ignorant, and arrogant, and so-full-of-shitty-stuff it's just so overwhelming for me to say it. You just think of yourself, and nothing else matters for you. Hello? If you want me to understand, you have to also understand me lah.

Well, I hope you can find someone that can stand you, cause I seriously can't!

It's either you leave it, or leave me.

The end.

Again and again

I am reading my journal, Yes, again! I love reading it, reminds me of freaking Americans, Babers, enchulatas (man I miss mexican food *sad*), Abercombie, the sales, Fashion Square, Panda express...

WOW, I'm not gona list everything, there's so much! Sorry people. LOL

I miss you very much, Joy and Bob Baber, the Ericksons, my lil Carter, Mareike bubu, KengoKenta, my weird PVHS teachers, FashionSquare, Panda Express, and most of all, my German boyfriend. Don't you just miss everything, love?

I know I do!

Thinking of You - Katy Perry

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your...

Your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door and
Take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay

Hipocracy, hipocracy

I hate hipokrits. I seriously do! They make me sick to the stomach.

I just hate the fact that they pretend to be super nice in front of you, but the fact is that they just bitching bout you all the time! Who cares bout them?

The truth is, I dont give a damn about them, but the thing that makes me mad is that I have these type of people in my bloodline! And it makes me more sad when I realise that all the nice things they said to me was a total lie!

I just hope they would get what they want and they would be happy for what they have done. God bless them lah!

Well damn with those people. I don't want to make my life miserable thinking about those kind of people. It'll cause me more heartbreak, pain in the ass, increasing for my total hairloss for thinking so much, loss of appetite, pimples will start growing on my face due to unbalanced raging hormones and alot of other complications for me!

Starting from now, at this very moment, I dont wana give a F**K about you people.

So please, go to hell :)

Thank you my loves

I feel better.

What was I thinking before?

I was always okay, it's just that, I wasn't handling my father's death very well. I felt sad and upset, because I wanted to do more things with him, but since he's not here anymore, I can't.

Come on, it's okay.

If I can't do it with him, I can always do it. Maybe with someone else. Someone. Anyone?

Well I'm okay now. Like I said, I feel better!

And well, I think next time, I should handle my emotions wiser.

Stupid Liyana, making everybody sad, and worried.

I'm sorry my loves. I didn't mean to. Thank you for being there for me.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

What's wrong with me?

I'm not myself lately, got upset easily, I dont think I feel very confident about myself anymore, lately I feel down, i drive the car like shit, seriously I cant even park the car properly, I always think of things that I never thought of before, like how thinner I got as I would not look good in my clothes, or something stupid like that.

Man, I sounded lame and annoying lah.

But what else can I do, I dont know what's wrong with me.

I want my old self back, confident, and dontgiveadamn about what people think of me.

Oh god.? Help me please.

Alhamdulillah

Losing the ones you love will make you a stronger person. Just know that death is a reminder for the living ones, that soon, one day, we will die too. Death ends a life, but not a relationship. Dont stop your life when you lose someone, but keep living, because the person has already found his peace, so feel happy for him, because maybe if he's still living in this world, he was suffering, and suffocating, so let it be that now is the time for him to rest and sleep. Cry for them, yes we can grief when we lose a person we love, but instead of putting a stop to your life by being sad and mourne all the time, where it doesn't and won't bring you anywhere, live your life to the fullest, treat people with more respect, and by keeping the person in your mind, heart and prayers, that will be more than enough as they will forever be remembered, and the memories will still live on.

Remember, that everything happens for a reason, and a cause. Look at things by many points of view. And look at things, at a bigger picture. Try to find the positive in everyting. Believe in God lah. He's always there for you.

I'm just so forever grateful that my father passed away so peacefully, may he has found the peace he had been waiting for, and may Allah bless his wonderful soul. Yesterday was a very sad day for all of his family and friends. His memory will still live on with us, as a father, a brother, a friend, an uncle, and a great man we all know him.

I am sad, but I'm also glad, that he has now gone back to where he came from. And I think he's a very lucky guy, to have children that took good care of him when he was not in his good shape, love him so very much despite everything, and even look up to him as an idol.

You will always be in my prayers, may Allah bless your soul. And may you have found the peace, away from this fake, disruptive and sad sad world. All this time,you've done everything you can to make our lives better, so now, go rest, for we will take care of ourselves, from what we've learnt from you and your experiences in life.

I love you , I always do, and I hope you know that. Thank you for everything, bapak.

News!

Got news from Mr.nini that maybe, he's probably coming here and see me in a month! Im so damn excited. And if it is really confirmed, I'm seriously goin to screammmmm! I just dont know what to say! i'll be speechless. But for now, chill chill. Relax. Breathe. breathe.

Reminiscing

I actually miss the times when I was in Phoenix,when there's no freaking school anymore, waking up looking at the sun shining through the window of my room, thus blinding my eye. And waking up, regularly looking at my things that's everywhere in the room, my books on the floor, my pants, or shirts, or well I dont know, there's always things on the floor. Even on the bed! since mine was an American King-size bed. Then automactically I would check my phone, and there was always a 'good morning' message, or maybe I would send it first, it was a normal routine for a couple of months, and I enjoyed it.


After that I would go downstairs, without brushing my teeth or even wash my face, to go find out that Joy is having her class maybe, or running some errands, and Bob is gone for work, or maybe to the gyms in the weekends. Then I would go back up, shower, checkout my hair maybe, then I would dress up, try up many2 outfits together, or even put up makeup, and remove it again so tht i could do another one.


Maybe on some other day I would have a date with Kenta at Fashion Square,go see a movie, or go to Abercombie for like many2 times per trip, or maybe I would go to Mareike's place, then we would be in the pool, or play with Tank and Gracie, or just stay in her room, talk bout her boyfriend or some weird exchange student we dont really like. Well that was fun!

Then i would come home, maybe Joy would pick me up at Fashion Square, or Mareike's place, then I would tell her what I did, bout how Kenta or Mareike would go to Abercombie 4-5 times a trip, and I would follow them(every single time I went to Fashion Square). I loved it. I mean then maybe I would show her my new dress I bought at Charlotte Russe, or a new skarf I got at Forever21. Then she would end up reminding me of how much stuff I have at home. And I would just shut up and gave her the biggest smile ever!


As we reached home, I would walk out the car, saying thank you for taking me(well I sorta do that all the time) and walk through the garage door, seeing Bob in his couch watching some show on tv he has watch for many2 times, and I would start out saying "Hola! Como estas?" and end up laughing because I dont really know Spanish!


Then I would go up, put up my new things on the bed, or on the chair, then I would shower, or have dinner, maybe enchulatas, or tacos, or even Wendy's! and after that I would start talking on the phone with my sweetheart, then we would talk about how we should we should meet up, walking to each other, or take the bus, then we would talk about random stuff, just random stuff that I dont really remember but yeah, come to think about it, we talk alot! And sometimes I just dont know wht we would talk about!


Then the conversation would turn out hours, and hours, and I would end up saying goodnight, or how late it was and how tired we are. Seriously we do that all the time! But I never got tired of it. Maybe because I just love talking with him eventhough sometimes we just talk shit.


Now, back home in Jitra, I would wake up, remembering about all those small lil stuff that I treasure so much. Missing the people that has changed me in a way, and still loving them, as much as my heart could be filled.


Well then and now, I know how precious these people and this memories are for me. And I hope that I would see them again, have Wendy's together, or go to Abercombie for a couple of times a day, walking together, side by side while holding hands, or even sat on the roof, gazing at the stars, or even dance together to some weird country song, I mean I would give everything I have now, just to do that one more time. And I would not be bored, if I ever have to do it again and again.

Day with Ankush

Saturday,24thoct'09 - around 930a.m, I woke up and got ready for a date with my Indian friend which is now here in Malaysia and is going to see me in an hour! Wow! I had my shower and everything and well I'm so lucky to have an uncle that is ok to take me to KLCC(also knwn as Petronas twin tower)

So I was at KLCC and is strolling around and around Suria, well there was a M.A.C show at the lowest ground and well they were giving out a free makeup try! So I thought since I was waiting for Ankush to come, maybe I should go try, so anyways, the intention didnt work out,at first since I had to go and get him! He's here! So I went and get him,and his parents, and we went for breakfast and guess what he got for breakfast, a f-f-f-freaaaaaaaking mcdonald's sandwich! dammit! seriously you come here and all you eat is mcdonald's? come on! we have nasik lemak and roti canai and tosai-lah and everything you can eat for breakfast! His parents btw was eating chakueteow and chapati,good for them!

So after breakfast, Ankush and I planned to go to Aquaria(it was my first time, so I was excited-lalalala). Aquaria is a marine park, underground, and below KLCC! Tell me about it :P Malaysia is cool. LOL. So we were in line with the rest of the crowd(damn I didnt know i have to get with all the crowd-seriously I dont really like being in a crowded place) waiting in line and getting a Malaysian citizen ticket(for Ankush too) and well, we went in. haha, the first 20 minutes of the so-called marine park was boring! It's a damn marine park and there you would see these bugs and insects on diplay with all the lizards and I was like whatthehell? is this a mini zoo or something?

I was feeling dizzy and all(noclue why?) and well, we still walk through it, me wondering where is the tunnel that you go through to see all the fishies swimming above you. Then there we saw it, the tunnel! and we quickly went into it, and yes, now this is what they call a 'Marine park'! LOL. I was so freaking happy to show him that, and he looks happy too! Im just so glad.

And so after the tunnel,they were some more aquariums,and that was it, on the way out, there was this huge shark's teeth? (i guess-whatelse should it be) and yes ofcourse we took a picture with it(check it up on facebook!)

We went out of the marine park, and went to starbucks! well yes I did say that the first thing I wanted to do is to take him to Starbucks, but I still did, didn't I? Hahah. well anyway, we were talking and reminiscing our memories back in Phx, and well made me miss, everyone-the Babers,pancake,Mareike,Kenta. Hurh. (sadmode) but it's ok, I know I'm goin to see them, now that I've seen Ankush, ofcourse there's a possibility that I'm goin to see the others as well!

So his mother called and well, he had to leave because they were leaving to central market, and I was tired to go with them(wonder why I got tired so easily?)-since they invite me with them, but yes I stayed in Suria and well, had my M.A.C makeup(for free!) and well, I would like to say that I would prefer my own makeup style :). It was ok, but, no, I love my own artworks! haha. a lil bit narcist here and there,so what?

well this was the result of the M.A.C makeup the makeup artist sortof chose for me

T'was not bad, but ok-lah. haha. So I got home, wash it off and felt so fresh that I fell asleep right after putting my head on the pillow. Amazing!

College search

Well on Friday I had an appoinment with Nottingham University campus in Malaysia,after lunch, my mom, my uncle and I went to hulu Semenyih and well, let's just say when I got there, the first thing in mind was tht,I'd rather stay and study in Jitra. Well anyway, my uncle was driving around and around and then we passed this Taman Tasik Semenyih (which is semenyih lakeside park). Then there it was, I saw it, Nottingham's administration centre. Well, it look just like how it is in the internet.

And so I was impressed by the beautiful scenery and then I thought,"wow, this'll be a very nice place after all" and so we went to the administration office where this Eric guy is waiting for us,(appoinment was suppose to be at 3,but due to traffic jam we were 15minutes late). But luckily the guy was a total sport and that was great. And so, he's promoting me for this another course at Nottingham, which is the Foundation of Arts(well I wanted to take foundation in business) but anyhow, my mind was made up but still I wanted to know a lil but more about the Art's Foundation so they called this one guy whose somebody in the Arts' society and he came,an Englishman name Mike. Nice guy he is, but smells of cigarretes, I cant stand cigarette smell. But he was very nice and very helpful in sort of making me interested in the arts stream(which sort of didnt succeed).

So after the brief I went out to tour myself around Nottingham. Well, not a huge place, but it was perfect. It's beautiful and I just fell in love with the place.

Namun keputusan harus dibuat a.s.a.p. :P

Im still thinking on where and what to do. Hope I can figure it out a.s.a.p!

Rakan2 zaman jahil

Ari nih aku breakfast dengan member lama frm Smj. Well, Dah dekat two years tk jumpa dia(agak taksangka ja), kott lahh nak selisih kot2 nasmir ka, Jitra ka, tadakk langsung. Padahal dok dlm Jitra gak. Teruk2. Well dlm pukui 10lebih skit cmtu dia mai amik, then round2, lalu depan klinik gigi Jitra, plan nak ke Arau lah sangat, jmp ngn Din ka, then tak jadi. Jauh sgt. Arau tu dah tadak pa. Pusing punya pusing, last2 end up kat dpn Smj jugak, dok lah kami kat Nasmir tu. Aku minum tehtarik je(kes baru bangun tidog sgt2), dia mkn roti sardin ngn ayag bandung. Dok sembang ngn dia, tk abih2 dok kata zaman jahil dulu2. Adoi. Kot lah nak kata zaman kanak2 ribena ka.

Anyways,pastu aku decide nk pi jumpa pak dia lahh, kes aritu pak dia msk hosp aku tk pi jenguk pun(rasa bersalah lah konon). Then end up kt umah dia. Sembang2 sambil tgok tv pasai budaya Indu kami balik lah. Singgah umah tok satt, mai balik umah sat, dok dapug, makan, relax. Then dok sembang pasai lagi satu membe,call dia, gelak2 kes lani dia speakin KL. Meluat. haha. Then around 12lebih2 skit, dia balik. Goodbye :)

Hai sukanya aku bila jumpa member lama balik. Rindu time2 skool dulu2. Lebih2 kat bbd. Tp bila ingt balik, lebih bnyk memories di Smj,hahah. whatever. Tak sabag nk tgu depa cuti, then jumpa membe2 yg lain pulak. Rinduuuu!

Note to self ; make friends not enemies. :)

My friend from India

Baru ja lepas on the phone with my friend from India, well he's in Singapore right now and he's coming to Malaysia tomorrow, and well I'm so excited to see him on saturday! Well it's been 3 and a half months since we've seen each other, and this will be the first time since July for me to meet someone from Afs AZ and from my own rountable! Seriously my lutut is shaking. Haha. LOL.


Well, I was thinking, since we're from the same rountable, I should take him to Starbucks first(because our rountable really love starbucks,and our meet up was always at starbucks!), and he was having Petronas Twin Tower in his mind since I met him in January! well ofcourse I will take him there. Then maybe to Aquaria, since dekat je pun. Was planning to ajak him makan durian, tapi kann, nak beli durian di KL tu kat mana huh?? Takkan lah nak bawak durian dari sini masuk dalam aeroplane kot besok! Gila kott!


Takpalah, I'll think of something else lah. Herm. thinkthinkthink!


I think I can come up with something in these couple of days. Heeeee :)

My rountable people, from left ; Mareike(Germany), Kenta(Japan), and Ankush(India). Miss them mucho!

Kimono vs. Hanbok

Clothes I would really loooovvve to wear.

The kimono, is a Japanese traditional garment worn by women,men,and children which means 'thing to wear' (ki "thing" mono "to wear"). Kimonos are wrapped around the body,and is secured by a sash called obi which is tied at the back.

Hanbok (north korea) or Joseon-ot(south korea) is the Korean traditional dress. Traditional women's hanbok consists of jeogori (blouse shirt or jacket), and chima (wrap-around skirt which is usually worn full)

For further information about kimono or hanbok please google it yourself.

So, I was browsing through google images and found these two beautiful garments and well, I was thinking of in which I would look better, Kimono? Hanbok? kimono? Hanbok? Kimono? hanbok? hanbok? kimono? Argh??? Well anyways.

I think that whatever it is, both kimono and hanbok are very elegant and very pretty too, thus I want to try it both.

Note to self : must put 'wear kimono/hanbok' in 'to do list' when have the chance to visit Japan/Korea

hair fall

Last night I decided to ditch my favourite korean ghost movie and go to sleep instead. Well usually I wont freaking ditch it, but I think enuf is enuf (not really) and I have to get my sleep, since, I'm having hair loss. Kesedaran timbul apabila rambutku gugur dengan begitu banyak sekali (setiap kali sikat sure belambak!) and ini menyebabkan tahap kebimbangan aku berada di tahap yang agak tinggi. Jadi aku memutuskan untuk tidur lebih awal and well, I hope in a way, it works?

I personally dont really believe in miracle hairfall shampoos so I dont think I would take that as an alternative. If so, maybe a hair tonic? or a hairspray is fine, but I'm done with shampoos!

Note to self ; no more shampoo testing.

Cepatnya

Pagi tadi send off one of my best friend at the bus station, well, it's been 3 months since he came back from Egypt. Now, I mean tomorrow, he's going back, I wish I could send him off at the airport, tapi nak wat camner, my flight to KL is like on Thursday.

Tapi takpe,at least I did see him before he leaves.

The last thing we talked about today (as if together), is about haircuts he had in Egypt. How they would shampoo your hair and then cut it, then if you have rambut2 halus they would use the threading and all, and he's demonstrating how threading works (as if aku taktau apemende). And in the end they would put alot of gell on your hair and make it so hard you can kill people with your mohawk. And it all will cost you 5genih (i dont know how much it is in RM but i think that's effing cheap!) and plus with small lil shampoos they will give you to wear at home. COOL!

I would love to go to Egypt, I mean I would love to go anywhere in the world!

Thinking of this, I mean of him leaving, (imagining him saying farewell, few hugs and of he goes in to the 'pancaran matahari' bus, goes to his seat and searching for me to wave his hand goodbye), makes me realise that time passes so fast, and you wont even notice it, I mean seriously this happens to me for alot of times already ( realising that time is passing effing fast). Seriously?

I would like to say, that after this I would very much appreciate time, and appreciate people even more, cause in the end, all the time in the world wont be enough for you.